Chapter 7 – Midnight Jammer and Encyclopedia Brown


Although Zann usually loved shopping, she didn’t love shopping with her father. The man could spend half an hour looking at ties, comparing colors and prints. A tie is a statement, he said. He was fixated on the ability of the tie to deliver a subliminal message about power and influence or whatever, so every tie had to be compared to every other tie to determine what message it would send and whether that was a message he wanted to send.

As Zann’s eye wandered the rest of the store, looking for something, anything, of interest, she spotted Charlie Peters walking toward a nearby register with a dress shirt in his hand. She headed toward him. “Hey, Charlie,” she called.

Charlie turned toward her with something like panic in his eyes. Continue reading

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Extra #6 – The Real Yodaville

Yodaville is a real place, as it turns out.  My fictional one differs from the real one in a couple of  insignificant aspects, but if you’re interested, here are some photos of the real one and links to more information.

Click each photo to embiggen. The photos come from here and here, as well as an aerial photo I captured off a mapping site. For more information about Yodaville, try here.

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Superfilms!

Over at They Stole Frazier’s Brain, today starts a series of reviews of all Superman’s theatrical film appearances on Movie Monday, starting with the series of classic Paramount cartoons from the 40’s.

So every Monday, head over to fraziersbrain for your fix of super-films, come back here on Tuesday for HGH Extras, and then count down to Friday for your weekly fix of Hero Go Home, the Novel.

If you were put off by the slow beginning, don’t worry. Things are about to pick up in a big way.

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Chapter 6 – Yodaville


The beat-up old Hyundai rattled to a stop in front of the Best Western in Yuma, Arizona. Before Digger could step fully out of the car, Val was rushing out to meet him, looking stunning in a simple denim skirt and pink sleeveless blouse.

“Took you long enough,” she said. “Where’ve you been?”

“Long story,” Digger said.

“Well, I don’t have time to hear it,” Val said. “We need to get going.” Continue reading

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Extra #5 – The Original Hero Go Home

Hero Go Home was originally conceived as a screenplay. A few opening pages were written, but it never got very far. And yes, I know this is not formatted correctly, but I’m not sure how to get WordPress to center the dialgoue sides, and don’t have time to worry about it.

FADE IN:

EXT. FREEWAY – DAY

Cars whiz along an interstate highway, the traffic thickening as it approaches a city in the distance.

One car in particular, a Plymouth Laser, zooms along in the left hand lane.

INT. LASER – DAY

The LASER DRIVER, a man in his early 30’s, balding and sandy-haired, pounds on the steering wheel as he drives. A Heavy Metal song screams on the radio.

On the seat beside him is a metal suitcase.

EXT. FREEWAY

The Laser approaches the downtown area. A sign announces “DOWNTOWN OKLAHOMA CITY NEXT 4 EXITS.”

On another section of the freeway, a semi barrels along at high speed, passing cars.

INT. SEMI – DAY

The SEMI DRIVER hums to Country/Western tune as he grabs a couple of No-Doz off the dash and crunches them u[ ike candy, chasing them with a gulp of Jolt.

EXT. FREEWAY

A motorcycle weaves in and out of the traffic at near-warp speed, passing cars left and right.

The semi goes around a slow-moving Caddy on the left as the motorcycle passes it on the right. They both then try to shift into the same lane. The cycle puts on a burst of speed and squirts out in front of the semi.

INT. SEMI

The Semi Driver, taken by surprise, slams on his brakes and wrestles for control of his truck. The brakes scream like a prehistoric beast.

INT. LASER

The Laser Driver continues to pound along to the song. Through the windshield, we see an overpass approaching.

EXT. FREEWAY

The semi, thoroughly out of control, smashes through teh retaining wall of the overpass and sails out into space. It lands with unerring aim , smack dab on top of the Laser. The car is destroyed.

EXT. FREEWAY – DAY – LATER

An ambulance, siren wailing, zooms away from the accident site. Two cops, MACE and HAMMER, stand next to the wreckage of the Laser. Mace is in his mid-forties, Hammer’s a rookie.

HAMMER
Real mess, huh?

MACE
Hell of a way to start a weekend.

HAMMER
What’s that?

Hammer reaches into the wreckage, pulls out the metal suitcase, now burst open. Blue cloth trails from it. He sets the case on the ground, wrestles the lid open.

CLOSE ON – THE CASE

In side the case is what seems to be a garment made of blue spandex. Yellow lightning bolts crisscross teh chest.

MACE (O.S.)
Shit…

BACK TO SCENE

Hammer lifts out the lightning bolt suit, looks at it confusedly.

HAMMER
What is it, Mace?

Mace, disgusted, reaches down, picks up something else from inside the case, a silver wand. He points it at a nearby billboard, an ad for the local electric company.

Lightning leaps from the wand and blasts a hole in the billboard.

Hammer gapes at the sight. Mace lowers the wand and sighs.

MACE
They’re here, kid. They finally made it out here to the boonies.

HAMMER
Who’s here?

Mace sighs and looks up to the skies for guidance, or perhaps for strength. Then he sees something and gestures with the wand.

MACE
Them.

Hammer looks up.

IN THE SKY

A glowing human shape flies of the buildings of downtown, caught in the rays of the setting sun.

MACE

Does not look happy at the sight. We hear HORNS HONKING and the sound of another crash.

MACE
All hell’s gonna break loose now.

CUT TO:

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Chapter 5 – Ahead of the Cycle


Digger drew stares in the lobby of the Marriott. It wasn’t often you saw someone wearing a poncho outside of Clint Eastwood in a spaghetti western.

Val had told him the meeting was to be low-profile, which basically meant no costumes. But Digger never wore civvies anymore. The Driller Beam Generators were too bulky to be hidden under sleeves and didn’t look right paired with jeans and a T-shirt or some such. So he always went out in costume and just covered up with a poncho when he needed to lower his profile.

Val waited outside one of the meeting rooms, absolutely stunning in a grey business suit with a short skirt that showed off her long, shapely legs. Red hair cascaded over her shoulders and hung almost to her waist. Digger whistled at her as he drew near. “Wow, Val. You look almost like a person.”

“Don’t insult me,” Val said, Continue reading

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Extra #4 – Know Your Drillers

Driller Beam Generator

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Chapter 4 – No Lamers, No AcroCops


“Come on, could we change the channel or something?” Digger asked.

“Leave it on,” Val said, enjoying Digger’s discomfort. “I like it.”

The four of them–Valkyrie Princess, Doctor Jolt, Digger, and the new hero, Thompson–were seated around a table in Digger’s favorite bar, the Traveler’s Tavern, where the TV mounted to the wall above the bar was currently showing a cartoon. An old man with gray hair sticking out at crazy angles and wearing a stained white lab coat cackled hysterically at his prisoner, a heroic figure in chains wearing a costume almost identical to Digger’s. Dinosaur skeletons loomed in the background all around them.

And now Digger,” said the mad scientist on the screen, Continue reading

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Extra #3 – As Seen From Space

Recently unclassified satellite reconnaissance imagery.

Satellite Image of Cobalt Czar Fighting Purple Dinosaur

Click the pic to embiggen.

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Chapter 3 – Somebody Has a Crush


“Hey, Charlie?”

Charlie Peters turned to see Zann Avogadro standing in the hallway next to Kim Yang and Dan Ricardi, Kim’s boyfriend. Charlie swallowed. Zann Avogadro, the prettiest girl in tenth grade, wanted to talk to him. “Oh, uh, hi.”

“That’s not the same shirt you were wearing on the bus,” Kim said. Continue reading

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