Hero Go Home

Previously: The Cobalt Czar asked Digger, “How does someone like you end up saving the world?” And now…

“Accidentally,” Digger admitted.

The Czar chuckled. “I like you. I’ll kill you slowly.”

“Wait, what? Slowly so I suffer longer?”

“No, slowly so I keep you around longer,” the Czar said. “You funny.”

“That’s not comforting,” Digger said.

“If you were looking for comfort, you came to the wrong place.” The end of the Czar’s cigar glowed red as he puffed on it. “Metalord said you wanted to warn me of some danger. So, what is danger?”

“What do you think it could be?” Digger asked.

“I asked you first,” the Czar said. “But in truth, nothing. I am the strongest man on Earth, and everyone fears me. Except your Metalord, for some reason.”

“He’s crazy,” Digger said.

The Czar nodded and blew another cloud of smoke at the ceiling. “Yes, but also strong, and I beat him easily. What could I possibly fear?”

“That,” Digger said. “You think you have no weakness. Everyone has a weakness.”

The Czar stared at him thoughtfully. “You sound as if you have something specific in mind. What is it you think you know?”

[blockquote type=”blockquote_quotes” align=”right”]The Czar stared at him thoughtfully. “You sound as if you have something specific in mind. What is it you think you know?”[/blockquote]Digger wondered for just a moment if he should bring up the cavern Twain had talked about, but the Czar had gone from jolly to quiet and still, so Digger thought better of it. “You tend to drop your hands right before you throw the hook,” he said.

The Czar smiled, but there was no happiness in it. “You tell jokes right up to the point of death. So American. You fear nothing,  and you care about nothing.

“I lived in America once, a long time ago. I knew people like you. They ignored me. They judged me stupid because I spoke with an accent. I was assaulted. I was robbed, once right out in public. A man stopped to help me up. He said, ‘People are assholes who take from you because they can.’ I think he wanted to encourage me somehow, but he only humiliated me more.”

The Czar dropped the cigar into an ashtray and stood, looming over Digger. He put his hands on the marble-topped table and leaned forward; the wooden legs creaked under his weight. “Because he was really telling me that I was weak, and the world only respects strength. So I made myself strong. Now no one can ignore me, and no one can take from me what I do not decide to give. I should probably find that man and thank him, but if he were standing in front of me right now, I would likely kill him for the way he made me felt that day.”

“Feel,” Digger said.

“What?”

“The way he made you feel,” Digger said. “Not the way he made you felt. Unless he, you know, made you into a hat.”

The Czar leaned down until Digger could smell the tobacco on his breath. “I tell you this story of my great pain, and you correct my grammar?”

“People are assholes,” Digger said. “And that includes me. Sorry.”

Digger’s treading on dangerous ground. How will he survive? Don’t miss the next episode!

To read from the beginning, click here…

Previously: Digger, Twain and Metalord were held prisoner in the Cobalt Czar’s dungeon when guards told Digger the Czar wanted to meet him. And now…

The room they brought Digger to was plush compared to what he’d seen of Keuke Bator so far (which admittedly wasn’t much). The guards tied him to a chair next to a long marble-topped conference table and left him alone. Digger stared at the oversized, high-backed chair upholstered in burgundy leather at the head of the table as if it might do something entertaining at any instant. Some time later, the door opened, and he walked in.

The Cobalt Czar was seven feet tall. His hair and long mustache were black, but the halogen lights overhead picked out blue highlights. He was wearing a charcoal-grey pinstriped suit of impeccable cut, which made even his football linesman’s body seem trim and stylish. He sat in the leather chair, which creaked under his considerable weight, and laced his fingers together on the table, watching Digger. The thick veins standing out from the backs of his huge hands shaded to deep midnight against the brighter blue of his skin. Even his eyes were blue in this country of brown-eyed men.

Digger felt the pressure of that silent stare, but didn’t say anything. The temptation to break the uncomfortable silence was strong, but Digger was sure the Czar would take it as a sign of weakness if he did so. Digger couldn’t afford to start off at any more of a disadvantage than he already had.

“They tell me you’re Digger, the hero who conquered Hell on Earth.” The Czar’s voice was a deep rumble that Digger could feel vibrating through the chair he was chained to. “If this is true, then where are the things that go on your arms?”

“Long story,” Digger said. “That is, if I am Digger.”

“You’re not Digger?”

[blockquote type=”blockquote_quotes” align=”left”]”If I were the Digger people saw around the world defeating Psicho, killing me would carry weight. But killing a norm without powers? It’s like sneezing. Nobody’s impressed.”[/blockquote]“They tell me you hate Digger,” Digger said. “I certainly don’t want to be someone you hate. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure you don’t like being lied to. So I’d rather just not answer, if that’s okay with you.”

The Czar smiled with one side of his mouth and chuckled. “Is not okay.”

Digger shrugged as best he could with the zip-ties binding his hands to the chair. “Well, what I can guarantee you is that the Digger who stopped Hell on Earth is gone.”

“So tell me why I should not have you tortured and executed,” the Czar said.

“Because that would suck,” Digger said. “Plus, it wouldn’t accomplish anything. If I were the Digger people saw around the world defeating Psicho, killing me would carry weight. But killing a norm without powers? It’s like sneezing. Nobody’s impressed.”

“I have seen some impressive sneezes,” the Czar said. “This one time…”

“No, sneezing isn’t the point,” Digger said. “The point is, I’m not worth killing.”

“I’ll decide that,” the Czar said. He pulled a huge cigar from an inside pocket of his suit jacket, lit it, and blew smoke at the ceiling. “You’re not at all what I imagined. How does someone like you end up saving the world?”

How does someone like Digger save the world? For the answer, go read Hero Go Home, and then come back here for the next episode!

To read from the beginning, click here…

Previously: Digger, Twain and Cole were all prisoners in the Cobalt Czar’s dungeon, when Twain said that they could potentially rob the Czar of his powers. And now…

“Why the hell would we want to do that?” Cole asked.

“Yeah, seriously, why?” Digger agreed.

“Are you crazy?” Twain asked. “He’s got you imprisoned. He’s planning to kill you.”

“Yeah, so escaping would be a great plan,” Digger said. “But taking away the Czar’s powers? Disaster.”

“Why?”

“Can you imagine the power vacuum that would create?” Digger asked.

“Double vacuum,” Cole corrected.

“Oh yeah, you’re right, double vacuum,” Digger agreed.

“What are you guys talking about?” Twain asked.

“Okay, look,” Digger explained, “the Czar has basically created his own little country here by terrorizing the locals and bullying neighboring countries, and no one’s been brave enough to take him down. He has an army, but really, the main deterrent has always been him. If he were to suddenly disappear or lose his powers, China and Russia would invade in a second. Then they’d end up fighting it out while the regular people got caught in the middle.”

“All of Mongolia would be screwed if China and Russia got into a fight,” Cole added.

“So is that the double part?” Twain asked.

[blockquote type=”blockquote_quotes” align=”right”]The Czar is not just a political entity, but also the most powerful super in the world. If he were beaten or killed, can you imagine all the super-strong low-lifes emerging from the woodwork to try to claim that World’s Toughest title?[/blockquote]“No way,” said Cole. “The Czar is not just a political entity, but also the most powerful super in the world. If he were beaten or killed, can you imagine all the super-strong low-lifes emerging from the woodwork to try to claim that World’s Toughest title?”

“It’d be a super-powered free-for-all,” Digger said. “Not just here, but all around the world. Every major city on thge planet would be thrown into chaos.”

“I’d come out on top, of course, eventually,” Cole said. “But it would take me a while to travel around the world and beat down all the challengers, and by then, the damage would be done.

“Oh my God, Rev,” said Digger. “He’d be impossible to deal with if that happened.”

“But what if somebody else took over for him,” Twain asked, “someone just as powerful?”

“Well first off, no one’s that powerful,” said Digger, “other than Rev, maybe.”

“Hey,” Cole said.

“The only other two guys I know that could have challenged him are both gone,” Digger said. “But even if he was as powerful, no one would take his word for it. You’d have a steady flow of challengers coming here for a year or more, looking for a shot at the title. The world would be safe, but this place would be devastated.”

“Besides,” Cole added, “if the Czar lost his powers, there’d be no bragging rights in beating him.”

“You couldn’t beat him anyway,” Twain said. “You just tried and got your ass handed to you.”

“He took me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting him to show up that fast,” Cole said. “Next time, I would come in with a better plan than ‘shove stuff up his nose,’ and I’d win. Believe that.”

“Yeah, I don’t,” Twain said.

A door slammed open. “No talking!” shouted a guard in heavily-accented English. The door to Digger’s cell opened. “You come. The Czar wants you.”

What could the Czar possibly want from Digger, now that he has lost his powers? Join us for the next exciting episode!

To read from the beginning, click here…

Previously: Digger, Twain and Cole were all prisoners of the Cobalt Czar. And now…

The next day, Janet came in and flirted with Digger a little, then gave him a shot that made him pass out. When he came to, he was curled on the floor in a dark, cramped room about five by five by five. Just small enough that he couldn’t quite stand up straight or stretch out full-length on the floor. So he sat until his butt turned numb, smelling the air grow staler and staler.

He heard noises outside the door and wondered whether they’d be shoving in a bowl of maggoty gruel or something, but instead, he heard a door open next to his room. Cole’s voice said, “Thanks guys,” as the footsteps retreated down the hall.

“Cole?” Digger asked.

“Digger!” Cole shouted. He sounded drunk. “Are they giving you the same stuff they’re giving me? Cause I got a serious buzz going here.”

“No,” said Digger. “I’m stone sober, and I’d seriously love a beer right now.”

“Huh,” Cole pondered. “Wonder why I get the good stuff?”

“Because you have powers,” Twain said from the cell on the other side of Digger’s.

“What did he say?” Cole asked.

“He said because you have powers,” Digger said, “and they think I don’t, I guess. Can you get us out of here?”

“No powers,” Cole said. “That blue juice seemed to suck it right out of me.”

“Blue?” Twain asked. “Was it glowing?”

“Yeah,” Cole said. “Did they give you some, too?”

[blockquote type=”blockquote_quotes” align=”right”]I think the crystals come from the City of the Moon…And I think that they absorb power from everyone in a certain radius, power that would otherwise manifest as superabilities. And I think the Cobalt Czar has found a way to claim that stolen power for himself…[/blockquote]“No,” Twain said. “But it helps confirm something I’ve suspected for a while now.”

“What?” Digger asked. “Seriously, what’s this really about?”

“Think about where we are,” Twain said. “Northern Mongolia. Have you ever looked at the demographics here?”

“No.”

“Well, if you had, you’d find out that you are in the superpower black hole,” Twain said. “Ten thousand square miles with no native supers. None. With one exception.”

“The Cobalt Czar,” Digger clarified, hoping Twain wouldn’t correct him and make him look stupid.

“Whose skin is blue, and whose powers manifest in the same color,” Twain said. “And at the same time, you have a legendary City of the Moon, which is somehow connected to that blue glowing crystal we took from Caveat’s mansion. You’ve got an ultra-rare superfruit that only grows on that set of ridges. And now, your friend’s powers are being suppressed by a drug that glows the same color blue. Seeing the pattern now?”

“No.”

“I think the crystals come from the City of the Moon,” Twain said. “I think there might be a lot of them in the area. And I think that they absorb power from everyone in a certain radius, power that would otherwise manifest as superabilities. And I think the Cobalt Czar has found a way to claim that stolen power for himself.”

“So what are you saying?” Digger asked.

“If we can escape and make our way to the City of the Moon,” Twain said, “I think that by destroying the crystals, we can render the Czar powerless.”

So okay, new plan. Wonder how long it’ll last before someone changes it? Join us next week for the next thrilling chapter of Run, Digger, Run!

To read from the beginning, click here…

Previously: Twain told Yi Fan he could not change back to his other body, because his other self had been shot. And now…

Yi Fan stared at the door as if it weren’t there, as if she were watching something happen beyond it that Twain couldn’t see. “I could…” she trailed off, as if reconsidering. Then, more firmly, “There is a way. It’s risky, but I could get you out, and if we move fast, we might be able to stay ahead of the Czar long enough to get into China. Come on.”

She stood up and took a step toward the door.

“No, wait,” Twain said. “We can’t.”

Yi Fan let out a frustrated sigh. “You just said this was the only way. Now or never, come on.”

“No, I said I couldn’t do it the way you wanted me to,” Twain said. “There is another way, but I don’t think you’re going to like it. Frankly, neither will I, but it might be our best shot.”

“What are you talking about?”

Twain took a deep breath. “We need to let them torture me.”

***

The room was spinning, but it wasn’t a bad spin. The fuzz in his head was not a bad fuzz. In fact, it was almost entirely pleasant. But the thing that nagged at Cole, the thing he was trying to get his fuzzy mind wrapped entirely around, was the fact that he couldn’t feel any metal anywhere.

There was always some metal. It might not be enough to work with, or it might be sufficiently non-ferrous that he couldn’t manipulate it, but there was always something to sense somewhere. Even his body seemed less alive, with the comforting background flow of the iron in his bloodstream suddenly gone. It was like the sense had simply been turned off.

[blockquote type=”blockquote_quotes” align=”left”]Cole … knew that something was seriously wrong. And that seriously wrong thing probably had something to do with the I.V. needle stuck in his right arm…[/blockquote]And if he couldn’t sense metal, he couldn’t manipulate it. Cole forced one eye open, saw the hospital bed with the metal rails, and knew that something was seriously wrong. And that seriously wrong thing probably had something to do with the I.V. needle stuck in his right arm.

The line from his arm went to a machine that looked like it had some kind of centrifuge inside. The machine was probably designed to extract plasma from blood, Cole figured. But what was in the bag hanging below the machine was not plasma.

It was blue. And it glowed.

Cole tried to sit up, but either he was incredibly weak, or else there was someone invisible sitting on his chest weighing him down, because he could only lift his head. He let his head sink back on the pillow, his eyes closed. Or it could have something to do with those straps he’d seen and had just now processed. This seemed vaguely bad, although one of the more pleasant bads he’d ever experienced.

The door opened. Cole forced his eye back open slightly, saw a Chinese doctor checking his chart next to a naughty, naughty blonde nurse. “He’s stable,” the doctor said. “Step down on the drugs. The Czar’s going to want him coherent for questioning.”

Oh yeah. Bad.

Jeez, everyone’s losing their powers. What’s up with that? Hope this doesn’t go on too long. To find out, be here for the next episode, posting sometime this evening.

To read from the beginning, click here…

Previously: Twain awoke in a prison cell with Yi Fan saying, “We have to talk.” And now…

“You think?” Twain rubbed at a sore spot on his temple. “Why did he hit me?”

“He doesn’t need a reason,” Yi Fan said. “You’ve made things very tricky for me. Why did you help me?”

“Shouldn’t I have?”

“Nobody helps me,” she said. “Everyone hates me.”

“That can’t be true,” Twain said. “”I mean, surely someone…”

“No one helps me,” she reiterated. “Except you. So now he’s suspicious, which is the last thing we need. I’m risking a lot just coming in here to see you.”

“Do you want me to apologize for helping you, then?” Twain asked.

Yi Fan sat down next to him and put her arms around his neck. “I want you to kiss me.”

Twain didn’t object. She pulled away all too soon and sighed. “Thank you. Now you need to get away.”

“Get away?” Twain asked. “I thought we had a plan.”

“That was when he trusted me,” Yi Fan said. “Now he suspects me, and he’s furious with you.”

“What did I do?” Twain asked. “Other than escaping. But I made up for that with Digger.”

[blockquote type=”blockquote_quotes” align=”right”]So say I grab that door handle and flip. This body disappears, and most of that door goes with it…[/blockquote]“You can’t just make up for it,” Yi Fan said. “He holds grudges. But it’s worse than that. Something about a crystal you were wearing around your neck. He’s going to torture you to find out where it came from, and trust me, it will be much worse than before. You need to escape.”

“You mean, we need to escape,” Twain said. “If you get me out of here, it won’t be safe for you either.”

“No, I’m not…” Yi Fan paused and shook her head. “I can’t help you. I have to regain the Czar’s trust, so I can use the mask on him and take away his powers.”

“You found the mask?”

“Yes, it’s safe,” Yi Fan said. “But we can never be unless the Czar is no longer the Czar. I have to stop him. Which means you have to escape without my help, the way you did before.”

Now Twain finally got it. He shook his head. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“The power I have, the changing clothes thing? I don’t just change clothes, I change bodies. When I flip, this body goes away, along with everything I’m wearing and anything I’m holding, to a certain limit.” Twain pointed at the door. “So say I grab that door handle and flip. This body disappears, and most of that door goes with it. But the body I end up with is the body I had before, the one with the darker skin and hair when I was trying to disguise myself as a native. The one that was tied to a chair in your pantry with a bullet in its chest.”

Realization dawned in Yi Fan’s eyes. She put a hand over her mouth. “You mean, if you change back…”

“I’ll still be tied up and bleeding to death,” Twain said. “And in such pain that I might not be able to switch back.”

That doesn’t sound too good. What will Twain and Yi Fan do? And what has happened to Metalord? Don’t miss our next episode!

To read from the beginning, click here…

Previously: After the battle in the Foreign Ghetto, Digger awoke in a hospital room with a pretty Australian nurse. And now…

“What do you mean, ‘worry about what’s going to happen to me?’” Digger asked. “What is going to happen?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Janet said. “But you have the Czar’s personal attention, and that’s not good. The general goal around the Czar is to not be noticed.”

“Is that possible?” Digger asked.

“It’s important to have goals,” Janet said. “You’ve already failed the first one. So your goal now is to somehow convince the Czar not to kill you.”

“Is that possible?”

She smiled again, but now he could see the bitterness behind the dazzle. “I’m not dead yet.”

“What reason could he possibly have to kill you?” Digger asked.

“He doesn’t need a reason,” Janet said. “He says reasons are for lesser men.”

“Huh,” Digger said. “Almost makes me wish I hadn’t come.”

“Why did you?”

“To warn him,” Digger said. “There’s a man who wants to hurt him, I think.”

Janet burst out laughing. She held a hand over her cleavage to make sure she didn’t jiggle out of her half-buttoned top. “Warn the Czar? You don’t warn the Czar; the Czar warns you.”

“You sound like Yakov Smirnoff,” Digger said.

“Don’t know him,” Janet said. “Is he an ambassador or something?”

“No, he’s…”

“Well, at least he knows what he talking about,” Janet continued as if Digger hadn’t spoken. “Warn the Czar. Heh. But why’s he so interested in you?”

“Who says he’s interested in me?” Digger asked.

“You wouldn’t be here if he weren’t interested in you,” Janet said. “Who are you?”

[blockquote type=”blockquote_quotes” align=”left”]He looked up from the rough cot in the cramped cell to see Yi Fan standing there in a uniform of severe cut, like the late Biryukov…[/blockquote]“I’m Digger,” he said, and then seeing Janet’s look of confusion, added, “Yes, I know. I don’t have things on my hands. Long story.”

“Well, that explains it,” Janet said.

“Explains what?” Digger asked. “We’ve never met.”

“But he’s seen you,” Janet said. “Everyone in the world has seen you. It’s worse than I thought.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s jealous,” Janet said.

“Says who?”

“Says everyone who’s seen the way he’s acted since Hell on Earth,” Janet said. “It’s too bad, really. You seem like a nice enough guy…”

“You just haven’t known me long enough,” Digger said. “So look, could you untie me now? I need to pee something fierce.”

“Sorry, I’m not allowed,” Janet said. “But if you really need to pee, I can help you with that.”

She bent down under the bed and came up with a bedpan.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Digger said.

“Grow up. It’s not like I haven’t seen a million of these,” Janet said, moving the bedpan into position. She took another peek under Digger’s gown. “And better.”

***

The sound of the door opening roused Twain from his slumber. He looked up from the rough cot in the cramped cell to see Yi Fan standing there in a uniform of severe cut, like the late Biryukov. He sat up on the cot, and his head swam from the lingering effects of the Czar’s thump on his head.

“We have to talk,” Yi Fan said.

Those four words have never meant anything good. Find out why in our next episode!

To read from the beginning, click here…

Previously: After Metalord was beaten by the Cobalt Czar, Twain attempted to help an unconscious Yi Fan, when the Czar yelled, “What do you think you’re doing?” And now…

“I’m trying to help her,” Twain said.

“Wait.” The Czar’s eyes narrowed. “I know you. The American, da? The one who escaped. Why would you come back?”

“I brought you Digger,” Twain said. “You said you hated him.”

The Czar stopped and looked at Twain warily. “I do. The Chinese man said he brought Digger.”

“The Chinese man tried to kill you,” Twain countered.

“True enough.” The Czar looked around. “So where is he?”

Twain laid Yi Fan gently down and stood. “I’ll show you.”

A few moments later, they both stood over Digger’s unconscious body. “That can’t be him,” the Czar said. “Where are the things on his hands?”

“He lost them,” Twain said. “Believe me, that’s him. He’ll tell you so himself, when he wakes up.”

“Does he always dress like that?” the Czar asked, eyeing the torn Chinese dress.

“Oh yeah,” Twain said. “You wouldn’t believe the twisted stuff in this guy’s closet.”

“And he was beaten by Ghost Dragon.” The Czar sounded let down.

“By me,” Twain said.

“Disappointing,” the Czar said. “I had hoped for more of a challenge.”

“Everyone’s disappointed when they meet him in person,” Twain said.

The Czar looked at Twain. “I still don’t understand. You escaped. Why risk coming back here, even with a prize?”

[blockquote type=”blockquote_quotes” align=”right”]She was wearing the kind of uniform you only saw in 60’s movies or gag comics in men’s magazines: frilly apron, short skirt, thigh-high stockings, little white hat with a red cross on it. No actual nurses dressed like that anymore, if they ever really had…[/blockquote]“You’re the most powerful man in the world,” Twain said. “What man in his right mind would want you for an enemy?”

“I understand,” the Czar said. “And I suppose I owe you some kind of thanks for bringing him here.”

The Czar’s hand shot out and a blunt, blue finger thumped hard against Twain’s temple. Twain’s eyes rolled back, and he crumpled to the ground.

“Thanks,” said the Czar.

***

Digger awoke in a room with pastel blue walls and curtains the color of coral. He tried to sit up, but found himself strapped to a bed, an I.V. needle stuck in his arm and a bandage wrapped around his head. Some kind of emergency buzzer lay on the mattress next to his right hand. He snagged the cord with a finger and  pushed the button.

A few moments later, a nurse came through the doorway: blonde, mid-20’s, very pretty. “Good afternoon,” she said with an Australian accent and a dazzling smile.

“Where am I?” Digger asked.

“This is the Czar’s private clinic,” the nurse answered. She was wearing the kind of uniform you only saw in 60’s movies or gag comics in men’s magazines: frilly apron, short skirt, thigh-high stockings, little white hat with a red cross on it. No actual nurses dressed like that anymore, if they ever really had. Her nametag read “Janet.”

“Are you an actual nurse, or some kind of…” Digger couldn’t decide what word to finish the sentence with, and from the look on Janet’s face, she’d just filled in all of them, so he didn’t bother.

“If I were you, I’d worry less about my qualifications, and more about what’ll happen to you now you’re awake,” she said.

Hey, look, Digger’s finally back in the story. It’s about time. Find about more about what’s in store for him in our next exciting episode!

To read from the beginning, click here…