Super Movies – Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Part 2

Posted on January 29, 2012 by Tony Frazier

So now we come to the conclusion of our recap of the big budget sequel, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. When we left off last week after a mostly actionless first half, the Fantastic Four had been called into action by General Hager to investigate the mysterious Silver Surfer and the huge boreholes he was leaving all over the planet. And at one such borehole, the newly resurrected Doctor Doom encountered the Surfer first hand.

So Johnny overhears Reed and Sue talking about giving up the celebrity life of the Fantastic Four and going off to live in obscurity somewhere. Right after comes (for me anyway) the hands-down stupidest scene in the movie. Reed gives a slide show in which he describes how he has been backtracking the Surfer’s movements and discovered a string of lifeless, sometimes shattered, worlds. Wherever the Surfer goes, eight days later, the world dies. And he illustrates with close-up pictures of the destruction.

I know it’s silly to talk about science in a comic-book movie, but I just can’t buy Reed being able to determine this eight-day timeline. There are too many reasons why I can’t buy it, and the last straw is the fact that, although Reed can somehow track the Surfer’s movements and events on the planets he visits with great precision, he somehow misses the gigantic freaking world-devouring cloud following him around?

Anyway, Sue and Reed figure out the pattern behind the boreholes so that they can show up to try to prevent the next one, in the middle of the Thames in London. Johnny intends to take the fight to the Surfer, but when the borehole opens up, it causes an earth tremor, and next thing you know, the FF’s new mission is to Save Ferris!

And like so much of this movie, this really looks like it takes inspiration from the comics. Reed looks just like Kirby would have drawn him, while Sue takes inspiration from John Byrne’s revamp of the character, able to use her force fields in much more versatile and interesting ways. And everybody’s working as a team, until the Surfer appears, and Johnny–eager for payback– takes off after him and accidentally touches Reed. They swap powers, and the Ferris rescue is suddenly in jeopardy.

But they pull it off, barely. Which is when General Hager decides to bring in an expert consultant: Doom, now completely cured of his metal acne. Doom shows them a video of his encounter with the Surfer, which shows that he draws his power from the board.

Reed sets to work trying to figure out how to separate the Surfer and his board, and has a brainstorm after a neckrub from Sue. He and Doom set about designing a tachyon pulse doohickey. That is, Reed designs it and Doom designs a gimmick to override it.

Then we get an interlude between Johnny Storm and one of General Hager’s aides, the lovely Captain Frankie Raye. And this is such a complicated meta-circular in-joke that I hesitate to describe it, but here you go: in the comics, Frankie Raye was Johnny’s girlfriend during John Byrne’s run, who ended up pulling a Norrin Radd and volunteering for the Silver Surfer’s old job in exchange for the Earth’s safety. She then became a sort-of uber-Human Torch calling herself Nova.

So now off to the Black Forest to trap the Surfer. The four heroes head off in four directions to set up their tachyon doohickeys, but before Sue can activate hers, the Surfer appears and effortlessly penetrates her force field. And wow, do they go crazy with the reflections on his shiny skin.

He tells Sue that he is not the Destroyer, but before he can explain further, the Army attacks (goaded by Doom), and we finally get to see the Surfer in action!

For less than a minute, and then Sue activates her tachyon deal and the Surfer drops. And then, for reasons that are never explained, they hustle the Surfer off to a remote base in Siberia (because the Russians are so cooperative with the U.S. Army that way). The FF are locked in a room while an interrogator (a.k.a. torturer) from the CIA or something works on the Surfer. And it feels like this is some sort of attempt at relevancy in the wake of the revelations about secret CIA prisons and waterboarding, but seriously Tim Story? You left any hope of relevancy behind with the ludicrous “eight days later, the world dies” scene, so keep your cartoon politics to yourself, mm’kay?

Anyway, while the torturer pauses to have a sandwich or something, Sue sneaks in to talk to the Surfer who, being separated from his board, is no longer fabulous, and is now a dull matte black. He doesn’t look half as disturbing as she does, though, with her blue contacts and her heavy, heavy eyeliner (and fake eyelashes maybe?). Weirdest of all, the bright lights on set have caused her pupils to contract, so now her eyes are blue and brown.

She asks the Surfer about that “Destroyer” thing he mentioned. In answer, he fires up a Powerpoint presentation on his tummy.

OMG, he’s a Teletubby, y’all! He says the planet destroyer is named Galactus and whatever. Meanwhile, Doom is taken to study the board, which he promptly steals, giving him the cosmic power to turn the General into an obsidian statue or something.

Cool effect, but seriously, WTF? So now it’s up to the FF to take the board back from Doctor Doom and give it to the Surfer so that he can stop Galactus. How exactly is the Surfer strong enough to beat Galactus? Don’t ask. Not addressed.

But how will our heroes catch the Surfin’ Doom? Why, in the Fantasticar, of course, summoned from halfway around the world by Reed’s Nokia phone. Taking inspiration from the original Fantasticar designed by Kirby in the early days of the comic (it can split into multiple independent sections when necessary), it is also the most blatant product placement in the movie.

Look closely at the seats; that’s the Dodge Ram logo on there. Because Dodge is so famous for their aircraft engines (actually, Dodge did manufacture aircraft engines during WWII, but we’re talking now-ish).

They catch up to Doom in China somewhere and have a mid-air confrontation.

It doesn’t turn out well: Doom flings them away with a tornado and causes them to crash in Shanghai. Then he tries to kill the Surfer and mortally wounds Sue instead.

Our heroes figure out that they need all of their powers to beat Doom,  but they can’t bring them all to bear at once. So Johnny offers to absorb them all, which they do by means of a familiar gesture.

This is a callback to the very first Fantastic Four story, which featured the four doing this very same “Go, team!” gesture when they first decided to use their powers to help mankind.

So now comes the big climactic fight between Johnny, wielding the combined powers of the Fantastic Four, and Doctor Doom, wielding the stolen power of the Silver Surfer! Wicked cool, right?

And not only cool, but a tribute to the comics, as well. Doctor Doom did steal the Silver Surfer’s powers in one memorable storyline, while Johnny’s condition calls to mind the villainous Super Skrull, who could copy the powers of all the Fantastic Four.

But because Doom isn’t the main antagonist, he gets dispensed with pretty quickly here. Less than two minutes after Johnny absorbs everyone’s powers, Doom has lost his board and been knocked into the harbor.

So finally, after reviving and healing Sue, the Silver Surfer flies up to face Galactus, with a boost from Johnny.

I gotta say, I really like the way they interpreted the Torch in these movies. I have plenty of problems with the two films, but the Torch is not one of them.

And now we finally get to see the Surfer confront Galactus. And the film’s depiction of Galactus has gotten a lot of flack, but I think they did okay with it. Because on the one hand, the big guy with the giant purple helmet would be really hard to pull off. And the giant planet-destroying cloud is actually pretty intimidating.

But then you also get this image within the cloud, which clearly evokes the classic Kirby look.

Were they trying to have it both ways? Sure. But I don’t mind that nearly as much as the idea that the Surfer can just go BOOM and kill his master instantly. Which is what happens.

So the world is saved and all is well. Except that Reed and Sue still have to get married. But instead of going back to the media circus of New York, they stop off in Japan to have a small ceremony, and holy God, what the hell is she wearing?

It’s like the entire movie they keep trying to top themselves with how weird they can make Jessica Alba look. The film ends with a new variation on the FF signal flare shot that ended the first film, now made by the sections of the Fantasticar flying separately.

And that’s it. I have really mixed feelings about the film. Because on the one hand, I think the film gets a lot right. I think the light comic tone works well in the first half. I like the characters. Ben and Johnny especially seem like they have stepped right off the pages onto the screen, and it’s obvious that the creators love the source material.

But there are some big problems, too. The film is simultaneously too big and too small. Which is to say, there’s a lot packed into that second half–the Ferris Wheel rescue, the Surfer capture, the fight with Doom, the fight with Galactus. But at the same time, the action sequences are super brief–to save both time and money–and feel very underdeveloped.

Add to that the rampant stupidity and tiresome descent into real world politics just long enough to cause a serious eye roll, and you end up with a strangely uneven film. Not bad, but not good enough to make the franchise worth continuing. And now that Chris Evans is starring as Captain America in The Avengers, you’ll never see him come back as Johnny Storm again. The Fantastic Four may return to the screen someday, but who knows when that will be?

Posted in Super Movie Monday | 2 Comments

Out of the Vault – Fantastic Four #55

Posted on January 28, 2012 by Tony Frazier

Since we’ll be wrapping up Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer tomorrow, I figured I would pull out this classic issue to revisit today: Fantastic Four #55, cover dated October, 1966. I did not buy this issue new. I was a couple of months away from turning four years old when this hit the newsstands.

In fact, I didn’t buy it at all. When I was maybe 12 years old and the comics collecting bug first hit me, my stepbrother mentioned that a recycling trailer in a nearby church parking lot would sometimes end up with old comics in it. So one afternoon, we dropped by and I was amazed to find this (the only classic Lee/Kirby issue of FF I own) and an issue of Classic Comics from the 50’s (and yeah, it was nothing special–“The Adventures of Marco Polo”–but it was Classic Comics, which was sort of legendary among comics fans just for existing, because who would ever buy it?). Check out those creases on the cover. This comic was read and loved, and thrown away, and read and loved again.

As the issue opens, Reed and Sue Richards are planning to resume their honeymoon after last issue’s adventure apparently searching for the lost Inhumans. Johnny Storm and his buddy Wyatt Wingfoot are still exploring the Himalayas searching for them, because Johnny has the hots for Crystal. They find Crystal’s dog, Lockjaw, later, but that’s B-plot stuff.

Anyway, check out the title splash page, because aside from that awesome super-reinforced custom-made chair the Thing is sitting in, there are a couple of interesting things in the credits here.

Number one, inker Joe Sinnott. Although Kirby gets all the credit, Sinnott is the guy who brought the polish that sets those classic FF issues apart from some of Kirby’s less popular work. Marvel’s crew of inkers was inconsistent at best; one month, you could get a solid job from someone like Dick Ayers, and the next month, you’d get a scritchy mess from Vince Colletta. But Sinnott not only gave Kirby’s muscular pencils a smooth sheen, but he also continued to do the same with the follow-on pencillers throughout the next decade. Whether it was Rich Buckler or George Perez doing the pencilling, Sinnott’s inks made the FF shine.

Another interesting credit is the bottom one: “Applauded with Aplomb by Honest Irving Forbush.” What the hell is that about? Irving Forbush was a fictional Marvel staffer who had first appeared in a Mad magazine rip-off named SNAFU in the 50’s. Stan Lee brought him back as an in-joke in the 60’s, then the next year, 1967, he morphed into Forbush Man, star of another attempt at Mad-style humor, Not Brand Echh.

Anyway, Ben Grimm, the ever-lovin’ blue-eyed Thing, is anxious to see his girlfriend Alicia Masters, the blind sculptress. She’s not answering her phone, so Ben decides to drop by for a visit. Meanwhile, the Silver Surfer (in his first appearance since Galactus imprisoned him on Earth five issues ago) has seen everything Earth has to offer and found it boring. Except for that hot blind girl he met that one time. He decides to go see her.

He peeks through the window at her as she strums her guitar (and no, that’s not a euphemism), comparing the music to the “distant sighing of a cosmic breeze,” because with the Surfer, everything’s got to be cosmic. “Beware, for the Surfer must vent some cosmic gas…” Then he uses his power to melt her wall open, because cosmic heralds don’t know how to use doors. Which is no problem, because he can totally fix it later.

And then Ben drops by. This doesn’t look good.

BTW, Ben can’t fix that hole. Anyway, Ben follows the Surfer out, raging and swinging and kicking boulders at him, until the Surfer decides enough is enough and uses his cosmic powers to boost his own strength to incredible levels. At which point, Ben realizes that the Surfer is actually pretty dangerous and bravely runs away to an uninhabited area. On his awesome jetbike!

But then he gets tired of the Surfer’s snooty face and tears down a building to bury him under. At which point Reed shows up and tears Ben a new one for not only provoking a guy who could have destroyed him with a thought if he actually cared to, but also for being an idiot and panicking Alicia.

So Ben apologizes and the Surfer gives him some flowers for Alicia, and yes, at Marvel in the 60’s, the first thing they decided to do with the amazingly cosmic Silver Surfer was involve him in a fistfight over a girl. Which is both ludicrous and awesome, because only at Marvel could you get that. Two superheroes not trying to stop the umpty-millionth lame would-be world conqueror or even lamer gimmicky bank robber, but just slugging it out over a dame, which would be boring and pointless except that it’s Kirby drawing the fight, which…

Look at this panel.

This is what comics can do in a way no other medium can. This is not a special panel: not a splash page or one of those awesome Kirby punches with huge sound effects and cosmic Kirby dots everywhere.

But try to imagine seeing this in a movie. You might, might, be able to pull something like it off with modern computer graphics and a million dollars, but chances are even then, it would look cheap and fake. Now try to imagine that moment described in a novel. You could use a lot of words, but never quite get that instantaneous, nonchalant “Oh, let me rip the side off this building with one hand so I can see where the Surfer went” vibe.

This is ink and letters on a page. And this is why I read comics.

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Week 15.5 – Stranded

Posted on January 27, 2012 by Tony Frazier

Previously: Hound Dog performed a citizen’s arrest to claim the reward on Digger. And now…

The drive to Bayside went without incident. Digger tried telling Hound Dog the entire story, but Hound Dog cut him off. “I don’t really need to know the story. I just need to turn you in and get paid.”

They arrived at police headquarters downtown late that night. Hound Dog marched Digger in, one hand gripping his upper arm. The desk sergeant looked at them with a bored expression. “Who are you and why’s he cuffed?”

Hound Dog slipped an identification card onto the desk. “Louis Fineman. I’m here to collect the reward on Digger.”

“Where is he?”

“Right here,” Hound Dog said.

The desk sergeant–the name tag on his chest read “Reid”–looked at Digger doubtfully. “This is Digger?”

“Yeah.”

Sgt. Reid nodded at Digger’s hands. “Where’s his things?”

“You don’t think I’d bring him into a police station still fully armed, do you?” Hound Dog asked.

Sgt. Reid thought about it for a moment. “No, I guess not. Okay, bring him in and I’ll call the detectives working the case to come get your statements.”

Forty-five minutes later, Digger was sitting in an interrogation room with detectives Grayson and Merrick. “Let me tell you how this usually goes,” Merrick said. “Most of the time, like–what would you say, Grayson, ninety percent?”

“Ninety-nine,” Grayson growled, giving Digger the stink-eye. Probably still upset from the beating Digger had given him at Jill’s place.

[blockquote type=”blockquote_quotes” align=”right”]“So ninety-nine percent of the time, the first story a suspect tells us is utter bullshit. You don’t mind if I say ‘shit,’ do you?”[/blockquote]“Yeah, ninety-nine sounds about right,” Merrick agreed. “So ninety-nine percent of the time, the first story a suspect tells us is utter bullshit. You don’t mind if I say ‘shit,’ do you?”

“Knock yourself out,” Digger said.

“I would strongly recommend that you do not follow their example,” Merrick said. “Because the more you lie to us, the less inclined we will be to work with you.”

“We hate liars,” Grayson cut in.

“So you be straight with us,” Merrick continued, “and we’ll do what we can for you when it comes to sentencing. Okay?”

“Okay,” Digger said.

“So why did you rob the bank?” Grayson asked.

The door opened and a bulldog of a man in a very expensive pinstriped suit entered. His blunt features presented an odd contrast to the immaculate lines of the suit. “My client will not be answering any more questions,” the man said.

“He hasn’t answered any yet,” Grayson yelled. “Who are you?”

The man offered a crisp, white business card. “Derek Arthur, Mister Ryan’s counsel.”

Merrick looked at the card, then at Digger. “Is this guy really your lawyer?”

“Used to be,” Digger said uncertainly, “until I…”

“That falls under attorney-client privilege,” Arthur said. “But I will be representing Mister Ryan, assuming he doesn’t object.”

“I don’t object.”

“So when can we leave?” Arthur asked.

“Well, we’ll be holding him over for arraignment in the morning…”

“But surely you aren’t arresting him!” Arthur said.

“The evidence is pretty definitive,” Merrick said. “Digger definitely robbed that bank.”

Arthur smiled terrifyingly. “But how can you prove that this is Digger?”

What will happen next? Join us next week for the next exciting chapter of Run, Digger, Run!

To read from the beginning, click here…

Or to continue to the next chapter, click here!

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Week 15.4 – Stranded

Posted on January 26, 2012 by Tony Frazier

Previously: Whiz arrived in Memphis to help a stranded Digger, when someone else arrived to disrupt their plans. And now…

Even though he recognized the voice, Digger still turned to look. Behind him stood a lanky man with dark hair, wearing a blue windbreaker. He looked and sounded vaguely like Elvis.

“Hey, I know you,” Kevin said.

“Whiz, this is Hound Dog,” Digger said. “Dog, Kevin Chen.”

“Yeah, you were that guy at the plaza when the demons first appeared,*” Kevin said.

“That was me,” Hound Dog said.

“Got your ass kicked,” Kevin continued.

“That’s cause I stayed to help people instead of running away to hide with my girlfriend.”

“Hey, I just took her to safety,” Kevin said. “I came right back.”

“What are you doing here?” Digger asked before Hound Dog could continue the pissing contest.

“It’s obvious, ain’t it? Come to collect a bounty. You’re wanted in Bayside for robbing that bank.” Hound Dog nodded at Digger’s arms. “So what the hell happened to you?”

“Long story,” Digger said. “And I can’t go with you.”

“Why not?”

“Because the real perpetrator’s still out there,” Digger said. “And I’m the only one who can catch him.”

“Why can’t you leave it to someone else?” Hound Dog asked. “He have some secret power only you know about?”

“He changes clothes,” Digger said. “Creatively.”

Hound Dog snorted. “Seriously? Tell me where he’s headed, and we’ll have the local boys pick him up.”

“No, you won’t, because he’s headed to Mongolia to see the Cobalt Czar,” Digger said. “And I think he’s got some plan to hurt him.”

[blockquote type=”blockquote_quotes” align=”left”]Wait, you’re telling me that you can’t go to Bayside to be arraigned because you, without your powers, have to go save the most terrifying man on the planet from a guy whose power is changing clothes?[/blockquote]Hound Dog shook his head like a bear being harassed by bees. “Wait, you’re telling me that you can’t go to Bayside to be arraigned because you, without your powers, have to go save the most terrifying man on the planet from a guy whose power is changing clothes?”

“Creatively,” Digger clarified.

“Dude, the story made a lot more sense the way you told it to me,” Kevin said.

“Yeah, all right,” Hound Dog said, pulling out a pair of chrome steel handcuffs. “Don’t make me do this the hard way, Digger. You owe me that much.”

Kevin stood up. “Just step off, dude.”

Hound Dog tensed, and his weight shifted subtly to the balls of his feet. He wasn’t as fast as Whiz–nobody was–but he was agile and strong and knew how to fight dirty. “You want to start something? Sure you don’t need to go protect your girlfriend?”

“Is there a problem here?” asked the cook from behind the counter. He was a big guy, looked pretty strong for a norm, but Digger knew he’d be no match for these two if they started fighting.

“No problem,” Digger said, stepping between them. “Back off, Kevin. Dog’s right, I owe him. Call Davey and tell him I said thanks for trying to help.”

“You sure this is what you want?” Kevin asked.

“Yeah,” Digger said as Hound Dog cuffed Digger’s hands in front. “Thanks for coming down, man. And thanks for lunch.”

“Wait, we’re not splitting the check?” Kevin asked.

So is Digger’s adventure over now? Will Digger end up in jail without his powers? What will happen next? Join us tomorrow for our next exciting episode!

*as recounted in the novel, Hero Go Home!, available in Kindle format or trade paperback at the Novels page above–Pimpin’ Tony

To read from the beginning, click here…

Or to continue to the next episode, click here!

Posted in Run Digger Run | 2 Comments

Week 15.3 – Stranded

Posted on January 25, 2012 by Tony Frazier

Previously: Digger is stranded in Memphis, alone and broke, until a mysterious someone shows up to help. And now…

“Whiz?” Digger asked, standing up. “What are you doing here?”

Kevin Chen, in the blue-and-yellow uniform he wore as The Whiz, ran his hand through the coarse black hair sticking up through the top of his mask. “Davey Lopez asked me to come. The question is, what are you doing here? Last I heard, you robbed a museum in New York.”

“Yeah,” Digger said. “Long story.”

“Well, tell it to me over lunch. I’m starving,” Whiz said. On his back, he wore a teardrop-shaped fiberglass shell. He pulled it off, popped it open and extracted a shirt and pants. He held the pack out to Digger. “Hold this a second, would you?”

He blurred away and returned seconds later wearing civvies. “Dude, you look really weird without those things on your arms.”

They walked a couple of blocks to a Waffle House. Kevin was almost vibrating with the urgency to run there, but Digger refused to be carried. “Tell me what you want and I’ll go order,” Kevin offered. “It’ll be ready for you when you get there.”

[blockquote type=”blockquote_quotes” align=”right”]Digger took the business card he offered and looked at it. It was the expensive kind, printed in raised letters of red, white and blue. “Defcon Five?”[/blockquote]Digger waved a hand at the building a block away. “But it’s just right there. It’ll only take a couple minutes to walk.”

“Minuuuuuutes!” Kevin groaned. “I’m hungry now!”

“You are such a baby,” Digger said. “Your parents must be so proud.”

“As a matter of fact, they are,” Kevin said. “I’m the good son.”

“You have a brother?”

“And a sister,” Kevin said. “You don’t want to meet either one of them.”

After they ordered, Digger filled Kevin in on what had happened over the past week: the hostage, the bank robbery, the museum, the cup, the mask, the double-cross. “And you think he’s headed back to Mongolia now?”

“Yeah,” Digger said. “He’s got some theory about the Cobalt Czar’s powers. Thinks he can, I don’t know, become like him somehow. We’ve got to stop him before he can get there.”

“How are you going to stop him?” Kevin asked. “You know which airport he’s leaving from?”

“No,” Digger admitted. “But the only other choice would be to try to intercept him there, and that’s just crazy. I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“I do,” Kevin said. He reached for his back pocket to pull out his wallet. “I can’t believe I’m doing this, but this is the guy you should talk to.”

Digger took the business card he offered and looked at it. It was the expensive kind, printed in raised letters of red, white and blue. “Defcon Five?” Digger asked.

“Not the group.” Kevin said. He pointed at the bottom of the card. “Him.”

Digger read the name. “Cole Chen, Metalord. Your brother?”

“Crazy brother,” Kevin corrected. “And I wouldn’t suggest it, except they’ve fought the Czar five or six times, both in San Francisco and in Mongolia. If anyone could help you survive over there and find this Twain, it’s him.”

“Except he’s not going to Mongolia,” said a voice from behind Digger. “He’s coming with me.”

Who is the mysterious new arrival? Will Digger be able to stop Twain? Join us tomorrow for another exciting episode!

To read from the beginning, click here…

Or to continue to the next episode, click here!

Posted in Run Digger Run | Leave a comment

Week 15.2 – Stranded

Posted on January 24, 2012 by Tony Frazier

Previously: Twain escaped with the cup and the mask, leaving Digger stranded and powerless in a strange city. And now…

Digger sat on the curb outside the motel’s office. He tried to ignore the irritated glare of the motel’s balding manager. Digger didn’t know his nationality–maybe Persian, maybe Pakistani or Indian or Turkish or whatever. The only thing he knew for sure was that if he guessed, he would guess wrong and piss the guy off even more than he already was, what with the long-distance calls and everything.

Which made no sense, because he’d reversed the charges, so the guy wasn’t out any money. But for some people, profit missed was money lost.

When Digger had first found the door locked, he’d immediately tried the door again, but it appeared the door wasn’t simply messing with him. It had shut and locked behind him at some point after he had run out in pursuit of Twain. He checked his pockets, but the room key wasn’t in them. He was pretty sure he remembered setting it on the dresser by the TV. He slammed his shoulder against the door once, but the door was pretty solid. More solid than his shoulder, at least.

He limped down the stairs and headed to the office, where he’d found the manager. He’d tried unsuccessfully for what seemed twenty minutes, but was probably closer to five, to get the guy to open up the room for him. Problem was, Twain had done all the room booking. The guy had never even seen Digger before, and sensed that he was being played somehow. So he had refused to open up the room.

[blockquote type=”blockquote_quotes” align=”left”]What had his powers ever really done for him? At worst, they seemed to be some kind of danger magnet…[/blockquote]So Digger had spent another chunk of time–brief, but stil too long–convincing the guy to let him use the phone. And not having his own phone in his pocket–it having disappeared to an alternate dimension along with his clothes, wallet and superpowers–he’d had to use directory assistance to call Jill collect at the Traveler’s Tavern and ask her to get in touch with Davey Lopez. He wasn’t sure exactly what he hoped Davey would do, but Davey was his best bet to get money fast.

And now it was just down to waiting and figuring out his next move. Which on the one hand was a no-brainer: Twain had the mask, and Digger needed the mask to get his identity back. But did Digger really want his old identity back?

What had his powers ever really done for him? At worst, they seemed to be some kind of danger magnet, sucking him into all kinds of peril. Even if they weren’t attracting trouble, people certainly turned to him to solve it once it arrived. It was almost physically impossible to be super and live a peaceful life. Did he really want to go back to that? Wouldn’t it just be better to go back to being plain old Mason Ryan, normal guy with a normal life?

Which is when the gust of wind came out of nowhere, and a familiar voice said, “Dude, what the hell happened to you?”

Who is this? Find out tomorrow in our next exciting episode!

To read from the beginning, click here…

Or to continue to the next episode, click here!

Posted in Run Digger Run | 4 Comments

Week 15.1 – Stranded

Posted on January 23, 2012 by Tony Frazier

Previously: Twain sent Digger into the past so that he could escape unhindered. And now…

Digger slammed into the exchange student from behind, knocking him toward Frog Boy, who was reaching out a finger to trace the carving on the glowing crystal. Frog Boy disappeared, and the student stumbled through the empty space where he had been. The crystal on its leather lanyard fell toward the floor.

Digger snatched it in mid-air, hopped over the student and kept running. He turned a corner and almost ran into a woman in one of those tight Chinese dresses, accompanied by a man in black leather. “Go,” she whispered.

“What?” Digger asked.

She grabbed the lanyard  and whipped the crystal up toward Digger’s face. “He’s getting away,” she said in a strangely familiar voice. The crystal touched his cheek…

And he was stumbling forward in the motel room once again. His head spun as every sensation was suddenly inverted; the hard concrete under his feet became soft carpet, the racket of the crowd became the quiet hum of the air conditioner as the warm humid air inside the flea market was replaced by the cool dry air of the motel room.

Twain was gone and all his stuff with him. The only thing he’d left was a twenty dollar bill on one of the beds.

[blockquote type=”blockquote_quotes” align=”right”]“He’s getting away,” she said in a strangely familiar voice…[/blockquote]But he couldn’t have gotten far. Digger hadn’t been gone long. He stumbled to the door and wrenched it open. He squinted reflexively at the sunlight, even though he wasn’t nearly as sensitive to it as before. The room was on the second level; he stepped to the railing, looked down. Twain’s van was just backing out.

Digger vaulted the rail, expecting to soar out to land on top of the van. But as he pushed off from the gorund, he was reminded by the lack of spring in his legs that he no longer possessed his powers. He clutched at the wrought-iron railing to keep from falling, swung out over it to end up dangling off the second-floor walkway. But he could no longer attach himself to surfaces, and his grip was weak, so he fell before he could pull himself back up. He felt his ankle twist under him as he landed. He tumbled to the concrete.

The van was just pulling out out of the motel’s courtyard into the street as Digger scrambled to his feet and limped after it. The ankle loosened up as he moved, and soon he was running at nearly top speed, but as Digger turned out of the courtyard, he despaired. The van was too far gone for him to follow.

Twain had gotten away.

Digger turned and limped back to the motel. As he walked, the ankle started to throb, letting him know just how bad an idea the running had been. But the ankle was the least of his problems. He was stranded in an unfamiliar city with no transportation, no identification, and no money except for the smelly twenty on the bed in his room.

And the door to his room was locked.

How will Digger catch up to Twain to regain his powers? Join us tomorrow for our next exciting episode!

To read from the beginning, click here…

Or to continue to the next episode, click here!

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Super Movies – Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Part 1

Posted on January 22, 2012 by Tony Frazier

Two years after last week’s film, the Fantastic Four returned in 2007’s Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. Featuring the same principal cast, one of the same screenwriters, and the same director, the film featured the Fantastic Four squaring off against the Silver Surfer and Galactus, as well as their old foe Doctor Doom.

The film opens with the planet Krypton, burning like a green star in the distant heavens, until it explodes. But not before a tiny glowing rocketship launches from it and heads for Earth. Wasn’t this supposed to be a Marvel movie?

This is not Krypton; that is not Kal-El

Okay, it’s actually something else entirely, causing weird phenomena as it flies around the globe, solidifying water, blacking out Los Angeles and even causing snow in the Egyptian desert. Odd.

Meanwhile, Reed, Sue, Ben and Johnny are in an airport, preparing to return home from somewhere. Reed and Sue are horrified to see discussions of their upcoming nuptials on a TV tabloid show, while Ben is eating up the adulation of the children in the waiting area, posing for pictures and even scraping off gravel dust from his fingers as souvenirs (and like the way the comic-book Thing grew rockier over the course of the comic, Michael Chiklis’s make-up seems rockier than before).

And there’s a brief scene on the plane, where they have been relegated to coach. There’s no real dramatic point to the scene, other than to show that even superheroes have to deal with the nuisances that plague normal people. This directly contradicts the usual formula of the blockbuster action sequel, which is to open with a big impressive action sequence. On the one hand, I kind of like the relaxed, family vibe, but on the other hand, the scene spends a few minutes going really nowhere, and I think they might need that time for extra plot later on. Just saying.

When they get back, Sue is frustrated, because they are having this huge celebrity wedding (their fifth attempt at tying the knot) and not only is Reed not helping, she’s pretty sure all the strange phenomena will prove so distracting that they’ll miss their wedding again. And not only do I not love petulant, entitled Sue, but her blue contacts are even brighter and more distracting than in the previous film. She looks seriously odd with them.

Which makes it all the more frustrating that she’s right in her assessment of Reed. He is investigating the disturbances behind her back, a fact Johnny uses to blackmail Reed into going out for a bachelor party. Though Reed is reluctant at first, he eventually gets into it.

The thing I wonder about in this scene is, the first movie made a big deal of saying the reason their uniforms adapted with them was that they had been caught in the same cosmic storm, as opposed to their regular clothes which do not. But now all of Reed’s clothes stretch effortlessly to any length. Maybe he hooked up his cosmic storm simulator to the clothes dryer or something.

Anyway, Sue shows up with General Hager, an old nemesis of Reed’s who needs help with, guess what, the strange global phenomena. The government is concerned it’s some kind of enemy activity and wants it stopped. Reed refuses to help, because of the wedding

Okay, seriously, he actually builds a sensor array behind Sue’s back and swears Ben and Nascar Johnny to secrecy.

As the wedding approaches, the Silver Surfer flies over Latveria and awakens the fossilized Doctor Doom. Meanwhile, Reed is finishing the sensor, Sue’s dealing with an invisible zit, and guests are arriving for the ceremony.

Yeah, that’s the obligatory Stan Lee cameo, this time playing himself rather than Willy Lumpkin the mailman.

Finally, Sue comes out in her white dress and scary blue contacts, and the wedding is on!

Until the Silver Surfer appears, causing a helicopter to crash into the crowd. we’re around a half-hour into the film at this point and finally getting an action sequence, as Reed, Sue and Ben stop the chopper while Johnny chases the Surfer.

Unfortunately, Johnny never had a plan for what to do with him once caught. The Surfer drags Johnny into the upper atmosphere then drops him once his fire is out. Johnny manages a crash-landing in the desert.

So now the Four are committed to helping the General stop the Surfer. Unfortunately, there’s a problem: Johnny’s encounter with the Surfer (who emits the same kind of cosmic radiation that gave them their powers) has left him unstable. He finds this out when he accidentally switches powers with Sue.

Jessica Alba actually has a good moment here, cutting loose with much angry screaming rather than her usual petty pouting. And if you liked She-Torch, you’ll love the amazing John-Thing when Ben decides to try out the power switch for himself.

And while all this is going on, a horribly metal-scarred Doom tracks down the Surfer on a glacier in Greenland and makes him the same type of tempting offer that Lex Luthor did with the Krypton Three in Superman II.

The results are similar. The Surfer first ignores Doom, then when Doom attacks him, the Surfer zaps him with a blast which, um, cures him of his metal affliction and makes him look normal again.

Wow. Aside from the brief wedding smash-up, the film has been remarkably action-free for a superhero sequel. I sure hope some stuff happens next week, and they don’t just sit around a restaurant with the Surfer, complaining about lousy service. Although that might be more interesting and unusual than what we end up with.

See you next week.

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Out of the Vault – Cybersuit Arkadyne

Posted on January 21, 2012 by Tony Frazier

I love anime and manga, and for a long time, I was also a big cyberpunk fan. So it should come as no surprise that when I saw a manga-style comic called Cybersuit Arkadyne, I snapped that shit up.

Cybersuit Arkadyne was a Canadian independent comic published by IANUS Publications in 1992. Tim Eldred was credited as Creator/Artist, with Jonathan Jarrard co-plotting and scripting. The plot concerns efforts by a group of scientists to develop a combat mecha, the cybersuit Arkadyne, to defend mankind against a shadowy alien threat.

The story opens with a group of terrorists planning to assassinate the test pilot for the suit, young Lieutenant Glenn Taback, who is slated to receive an experimental implant that has killed everyone it has been tried on. But the terrorists apparently don’t feel like waiting.

Too bad for them that somebody gets wind of their plan. They are ambushed on the road and killed to the last man by a gigantic humanoid blur.

But that’s not the weird part. The weird part is that later, during the press conference in which Taback is being introduced to the press as the pilot of the cybersuit, he hallucinates the attack by the terrorists that would have happened. And later, as he is being flown up to a space station to transfer to a lunar flight, he knows they are being attacked before anyone else is aware. His warning is all that saves the ship and its military escort.

Well, his warning and a mysterious giant robot who kills the attacking alien ships. And let’s just say, our mystery guest looks a little familiar.

That design matches the Arkadyne perfectly, except for the color scheme. And yet, nobody freaks out that there is a completely functional perfect copy of a suit that only exists as an untested, unfinished prototype.

Glenn undergoes the surgery to implant a device which will allow him to interface with Arkadyne and use its experimental gravitic drive like an extension of his own body. And we learn that he volunteered for the job because his best friend Carl (the previous Arkadyne test pilot) died from the implant and Glenn wants to honor his memory. And by the way, the beautiful female scientist who has perfected the implant procedure was in love with Carl and is beginning to develop feelings for Glenn as well. Not very professional.

Anyway, Glenn undergoes the procedure and takes the Arkadyne out for a spin. And this is where all the previous pilots bit it, apparently, being unable to handle the immense sensory overload of the gravitic drive.

But Glenn has help in the form of what appears to be the ghosts of all the pilots who have died before, who shield him from the overload until he’s able to handle it. Soon Glenn is passing all the tests with flying colors, and also able to interpret a mysterious alien sculpture which depicts the gravity wells of the different planets in the solar system. And not incidentally falling in love.

Although I couldn’t remember anything about the book when I ran across it in the Vault, I enjoyed rereading it. It was not an exciting read; the story synopsis above takes three full issues to develop, with lots of dialogue-heavy exposition. I can see where people would find it boring.

But Eldred’s art was appealing, the mystery was starting to develop into something interesting, the romance–while sometimes feeling awkwardly shoved into what should have been an adventure story for adolescent boys–was becoming central to the plot, and there were even hints of an overall theme, something pretty ambitious for a black-and-white self-published giant robot comic.

Apparently, though, “boring” was what the audience came away with, because the planned 6-issue miniseries was cancelled after the three that I own. It’s too bad. Although elements of the story felt awfully familiar, there was enough good that I would have liked to see how it turned out.

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Week 14.5 – Bare Handed

Posted on January 20, 2012 by Tony Frazier

Previously: Twain revealed that he had been manipulating Digger the entire time. Then he sent Digger into the past so he could make his escape. And now…

Digger pitched forward and landed in a puddle. Filthy, muddy water splashed up into his face. He sputtered and wiped his eyes clear with the backs of his wrists as he slowly got to his feet. He was almost afraid to look up and sees where he had landed. The mud could mean anything from his last visit to the lake to a trip back to the Jurassic. Except that it smelled and sounded like a city. He looked up and said, “You’ve gotta be shitting me.”

He stood in a muddy patch of what was mostly parking lot. Across the street was a large metal building with a huge vinyl banner stretched across the front that read “Flea Market Today.”

He had gone back to the same damn time: the day he fought (and was) Frog Boy. Why?

But why didn’t really matter. What mattered was that he get back to his own time as quickly as possible before Twain could get away.

[blockquote type=”blockquote_quotes” align=”right”]He was already breathing hard when he burst through the doors into the massive building. He felt weak and slow. Being normal sucked…[/blockquote]Horns blared as he took off across the street. He still didn’t know the official rules of time travel–perhaps he wouldn’t be allowed to return to his own time until he had accomplished some crucial feat, for instance–so he had to go with what he did know: the route back was through the crystal.

He was already breathing hard when he burst through the doors into the massive building. He felt weak and slow. Being normal sucked. He was startled at the way people stared at him, then realized just how filthy he was.

No use delaying. He plunged into the warren of booths, unsure exactly where to find the man with the pendant. He thougt he heard a commotion from off to his left, so he cut that way and stumbled against a display of canes standing up in a tall garbage pail. The canes clattered to the floor, and Digger stumbled past them as their owner shouted, “Hey, stop that guy!”

But before anyone could do anything about it, he cut around another corner and kept running. His side was beginning to ache. He heard another shout and a crash from off to his right and headed that way. It was no good, though. He was just too slow. And then he saw what he needed.

He snatched a skateboard from a display in one booth, ignored the angry shouts from behind him as he sped down the aisles, tracking the fight by the noise. And then he spotted the guy, the exchange student or whatever, down one aisle. Problem was, he was on the other side of the fight.

Digger reversed direction, cut back and skirted the fight. As he came out where he could see the guy again, Frog Boy was confronting him. Digger pushed the board as fast as he could, then realized he wouldn’t be able to stop in time. He was going to hit the guy! Had he hit the guy before? Would this change the future?

What will happen next? Will Digger make it back to his own time? Will Twain get away? Join us next week for the next exciting chapter of Run, Digger Run!

To read from the beginning, click here…

Or to continue to the next episode, click here!

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