Hero Go Home

Note: Items in the illustration are not to scale, but I’m too lazy to change them.

Previously: Twain prepared to explain his plan for the cup and the crystal to Digger.

Twain shook his head as he pulled the crystal out of Digger’s pants pocket. The crystal was oblong and narrow, about the size and shape of a laser pointer. Twain snapped the leather thong threaded through a hole at one end of the crystal and threw the thong away. The crystal itself fit neatly into the hole drilled into the top of the wooden pedestal, though it was only deep enough to fit the top half.

Twain then grabbed the crystal cup. The cup itself had a sort of central pillar sticking up in the middle. It was hollow, Digger knew. He’d seen the hole in the bottom when Twain had shown him the cup the day before. Twain fitted the cup between the four arms of the pedestal, and slid it down so that the blue crystal was now inside the hollow central pillar. The leather loops went up on either side to hold the cup in place. Twain now held a crystal goblet with a wooden base.

“Where did you get that?” Digger asked.

“I made it,” Twain said. “Remember, the cup is hundreds of years old. By the time Kessler got hold of it, the wood and leather had pretty much rotted away. So I had to make a new one.”

“So what does it do?” Digger asked. He took a bite of the sausage biscuit and grimaced.

“It’s a cup,” Twain said, opening the cooler. “You drink out of it.”

“Yeah, but what good is that?” Digger asked.

“A lot,” Twain said, lifting out a white plastic jug full of amber liquid, “if you’re drinking this.”

“What’s that?”

“Shendu guots,” Twain said. “Or guatsu, if you want to get technical. The name translates roughly to ‘divine juice,’ or you could say, ‘juice of the gods.’”

“What does it do?”

“Everything good and nothing bad,” Twain said. “It’s like the ultimate superfood, according to the Chinese. It’s insanely rare and expensive. The fruit only grows in a remote region of Mongolia.”

Digger swallowed the last bite of his sandwich. “Mongolia? Wait a second. There was an index card in the drawer with that crystal. I didn’t read the whole thing, but it said something about the Cobalt Czar.”

Twain smiled as he filled the crystal cup with juice from the plastic jug. “Yeah. This was the artifact I was researching when he caught me. See, the juice by itself is amazing, but when you drink it out of this cup in particular…”

“Is it going to help me track down the hostage or something?”

“Or something,” Twain said. He turned toward the door.

“Hey, where are you going?” Digger asked.

Twain opened the door and set the cup down on the walk just outside. The sunlight hit the cup and refracted through the blue crystal to give the entire thing an eerie blue-green glow. “It needs to charge for an hour,” Twain said.

“And then what?”

Twain grinned. “And then you drink it and save the day.”

To read from the beginning, click here…

Or to continue to the next episode, click here!

Sorry again for this week’s late updates…

Previously: Twain has promised to finally reveal his plan to help Digger save the hostage and bring the Cobalt Czar to justice. And now…

When Digger woke the next morning, Twain was gone. His first reaction was anger. Twain had obviously lied to him to get him to go along with his robbery scheme, then took off with the loot, as usual.

Except that the cup was still sitting on the dresser next to the bolted-down TV.

Digger’s second reaction was anger. Twain had obviously taken off and left Digger with the loot from the museum robbery, which was clearly not as special he had been led to believe, while Twain had absconded with the real treasure, Caveat’s crystal.

Except that Digger could see the blue glow still emanating from his pants pocket where he had put the crystal last night.

Which was slightly less bad, but still… Digger had been left holding the bag with the incriminating evidence while Twain escaped scot-free. The cops were probably closing in right now.

Digger’s seismic sense felt the vibrations of footsteps approaching the door. He hated being right sometimes. He tensed in anticipation of the door bursting in, cops shouting , firearms being waved about. This was about to turn ugly, and in the confined space of the motel room, Digger couldn’t simply leap free and run away. Someone was sure to get hurt.

Then Digger heard the sound of a key entering the lock, and a moment later, Twain entered, carrying a white paper sack from a fast food joint.

“Where the hell were you?” Digger asked.

Twain paused with one foot inside the door. He reached outside to grab something. “I told you last night, we need sunlight to make this thing work.”

“So?”

Twain came in with the cooler Digger had last seen sitting behind the driver’s seat in Twain’s van. He set it on the bed and then shut and bolted the door. “So, it was foggy this morning, so I figured I’d go out and get us some breakfast while we wait for it to burn off. Biscuit?”

Digger caught the paper-wrapped bundle Twain tossed at him. “Bacon or sausage?”

“Sausage.”

“Fiend.” Digger unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite. “So, we’ve got all the ingredients you said we needed, and it looks like the sun’s coming out. Are you finally going to let me in on what the plan is?”

“Of course,” Twain said. “Just let me eat first…”

Whatever else he was going to say was drowned out by the sound of the Driller firing up. “Dude, I swear to God, I will put a big hole in you.”

Twain lifted his hands in surrender and laughed. “Kidding. Just kidding. Let’s do this.”

He reached into his luggage and pulled out a small bundle wrapped in brown paper. He unwrapped it to reveal a small pedestal carved out of wood, with four curved arms reaching up and a smaller hole drilled down the center between them.Two loops of leather hung down the sides.

“What is that, some kind of…” Digger paused, trying to figure it out. “What is that?”

Yeah, just what is that? Find out in the next episode!

To read from the beginning, click here…

Or to continue to the next episode, click here!

Previously: Digger and Twain have escaped from Caveat’s mansion with the last piece they need to put Twain’s plan into action. And now…

To read from the beginning, click here…

Jill answered the phone on the fourth ring. “Traveler’s Tavern.”

“Jill?”

“Digger?” Jill shifted the phone to her other shoulder as she started to pull a beer.

“I just wanted to let you  know,” Digger’s voice said. “You might see something on the news tomorrow about me robbing a museum.”

“You what?” She jerked away from the running tap, spilling beer across her knuckles. She shoved the glass back under the stream. “Damn. Are you crazy?”

“Trying not to be,” Digger said. “I’m hoping Twain’s plan actually works tomorrow, and that it hasn’t all been some trick.”

“Where are you?” Jill asked, shutting off the tap.

“Motel in Connecticut somewhere,” Digger said. “Got restless, but I can’t let myself be seen, so I’m lying on the roof, looking at the stars.”

“Sounds romantic.” Jill handed off her beer and collected a five.

“Would be if I had someone to share it with,” Digger said. “You know, I hardly ever look at the stars. I spend most of my time looking down rather than up. It’s really…”

“What?” Jill asked after a moment. She rang up the beer.

“Nothing,” Digger said. “Just feeling weird. I think my body’s having trouble adjusting to being sober. Would really like a beer right about now.”

“Are you sure all this is a good idea?” Jill asked.

“I’m pretty sure it’s a bad idea,” Digger said. “But I can’t just let that guy die.”

“What guy?”

“The guy they threatened to kill if I didn’t rob the bank for them.”

Jill couldn’t believe it. “So this all for just one man? Who is he?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Jill said loudly. The regulars at the bar quieted down at the sound of her raised voice. “How could you do all that for someone you don’t even know?”

“I’m not sure,” Digger said. “It’s just, everyone thinks I’m like this super-savior now. I guess I just feel like I need to live up to that.”

“By robbing museums.”

“It’s complicated,” Digger said. “I’ll tell you all about it when I get back. Assuming I don’t end up in Devil’s Mesa or something. I really need a good lawyer.”

“I thought you had a good lawyer,” Jill said.

“I did,” Digger said. “We just robbed his house.”

“Oh my God, Digger,” Jill said. “If you don’t die on this thing, I may just kill you myself. You are too stupid to live, you know that.”

“I know. I’ll see you later.”

“You better,” Jill said. “We miss you.”

“All of you, or just you?” Digger asked.

“All of us, in our own ways,” Jill said. “If you want to know mine, you’ll have to come back in one piece.”

“It’s a date,” Digger said. “Keep my seat warm and my beer cold.”

She opened her mouth to say something else, but the phone clicked and Digger was gone.

“Was that Digger?” Jake asked from the end of the bar. “Where is he?”

“In big trouble.”

What is Twain’s plan? Be here for our next exciting episode!

To read from the beginning, click here…

Or to continue to the next episode, click here!

So sorry this is so late.

Previously: Digger and Twain had just made their escape from Caveat Maledictor’s mansion. And now…

“So seriously, no more stalling,” Digger said once they were on the road again. “What’s the plan?”

Twain stared at the road. “I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

Digger slammed his hand into the dashboard. “What the hell, man? Just tell me.”

“It won’t do any good to tell you,” Twain said. “I have to show you, and to show you, I need sunlight. So you’ll find out tomorrow.”

Digger shook his head and turned away. “This is bogus, man.”

“No, I’ll tell you what’s bogus,” Twain said. “What was that about threatening to use your Drillers back there? If he’d called your bluff, you could have killed me.”

“Come off it,” Digger muttered.

“Come off what?”

Digger turned and put his hand on Twain’s chest, grabbed the bomb secured there under his shirt by the metal harness. “Change.”

“Let go.”

“Change.”

Twain took his eyes off the road to look at Digger. “You seriously need to take your hands off me right now.”

“Not until you change.”

Twain smiled and shook his head. “Okay, you got me. There’s no bomb when I flip.”

Digger pulled his hand away. “Then why make me think there was?”

“Two reasons,” Twain said. “Number one, it was funny. And number two, I couldn’t be sure that he didn’t have some sort of monitoring devices in those things on your Drillers.”

“What, you mean he’s listening in on us?” Digger turned and looked in the rear view mirror as if he might suddenly find them being pursued.

“He might be,” Twain said.

“Then why admit it now?” Digger asked.

“Because it doesn’t matter any more,” Twain said. “We.ve got all the pieces we need. He can’t stop us now.”

But maybe I can, said a voice in Twain’s head.

“Deus?” Twain asked the air.

“Oh, God, what does he want?” Digger asked.

“Back for more pain?” Twain asked.

Hardly. I just want you to know that, although we’re letting you go at this moment, rest assured, we will bring you to justice.

“Okay, number one, why bother?” Twain said. “I’m just a small fish. You guys are the big leagues. I’m hardly worth your time. And number two, good luck trying.”

Answers like that just make you more interesting. Watch your back.

“I will.” The presence faded from Twain’s mind.

“What was that about?” Digger asked.

“Somebody else getting in line to kick my ass,” Twain said. “If they can find it.”

“Deus can,” Digger said. “And you’re tricky, but tricks won’t hold them off forever.”

“I just have to hold them off until we’re done,” Twain said, staring intently at something beyond the windshield. “And then I won’t need tricks.”

“What does that mean?”

Twain smiled at Digger. “It means, once we fix all this mess and clear your name, you’ll vouch for me. Right?”

“I don’t know how much my recommendation is worth,” Digger said. “But if you help me save that guy, yeah, I’ll put in a word.”

They drove on in silence.

Will Twain ever reveal his plan? Be with us for our next exciting episode!

 To read from the beginning, click here…

Or to continue to the next episode, click here!

Previously: Caveat Maledictor, Carpe Noctem, and Biggus Stickus confronted Digger and Twain as they were stealing a special crystal from Caveat’s mansion. And now…

“Stop wasting time,” Carpe urged, “and just hit him already.”

Digger snapped the Drillers back on.

“No, let’s hear him out,” Caveat said. “There’s nothing you can say that scares me. You can only make things worse for yourself.”

“Fine,” Digger said. “Well, we both know the dart pistols were a bust.”

“Only because you were wearing those stupid pants,” Caveat said. “If the darts had penetrated your skin, you’d have gone down.”

“They did penetrate my skin,” Digger said. “A few, anyway. Made my legs kind of numb. But you were too timid with whatever you coated them with. Which is the real problem: you always underestimate me.”

“Do I?”

“Yeah, which is weird, becaue you don’t do it with anyone else,” Digger said. “There’s just something about me personally that gets under your skin and makes you stop thinking straight.”

“I think everybody has someone like that,” Carpe said. “You end up either hating them or loving them for no good reason. I married mine. Biggest mistake of my life.”

“We don’t think about him any more, dear,” Caveat said, reaching back. Carpe took his hand. “What’s your point, Digger?”

“My point is, whatever else you have prepared for me is probably not going to work. You’ll have to think bigger, and you don’t have time to build something new. Which means you’ll have to use whatever you’ve prepared for them.” Digger pointed at Stickus and Carpe.

Stickus frowned. “What is he talking about?”

“He’s talking nonsense,” Caveat said.

“Hero 101, Stick,” Digger said. “You join a team, the first thing you do is figure out their weaknesses, so you can take them down in case of mind control or something. You think a guy who’s partners with Deus Ex Machina would not be prepared for a mind control-induced problem? I’ll bet he had something built to take care of you before you were even hired onto the team.”

Stickus turned to Caveat. “Is that true?”

“He’s grasping at straws, trying to turn us against each other!” Caveat said.

“That’s not a denial.” Carpe pulled her hand from Caveat’s grasp. “You have something designed to stop me? You’re carrying it right now?”

Caveat spread his hands. “It’s just meant to neutralize you, honey. In the gentlest way possible.”

“Neutralize?” Carpe’s eyes flashed angrily. “Where is it? Show me!”

“Yeah, and mine, too,” Stickus said.

“I can’t show them to you,” Caveat said. “If I showed them to you, then I’d lose the element of surprise when I…”

“When you what?” Carpe asked, tossing her hair. “When you attacked me? And what happens if you get mind-controlled, huh? Now that you’ve got some ready-made weapon to attack me with?”

“Well, that’s the beauty of it,” Digger said. “He wins either way.”

“Shut up!” Carpe shouted.

“And get the hell out of my house,” Caveat growled.

“Pleasure doing business with you,” Digger said. He nodded to Twain. “Come on.”

The sounds of the argument rose behind them as they left.

Now that they have all the elements they need, how will Digger and Twain use them to save the hostage? Find out next week in the next chapter of Run, Digger, Run!

To read from the beginning, click here…

And to go on to the next episode, click here!

Sorry for the missed update. Holiday season and personal difficulties have my mind beaten nearly into submission.

Previously: Digger and Twain were trapped in Caveat Maledictor’s mansion while stealing a blue crystal, the final piece to Twain’s plan to help Digger out of his current difficulties. And now…

“Maybe if we hurry, we can get out of here before Caveat finds us in his house,” Digger said, stepping out into the corridor with Twain. He stuffed the glowing blue crystal into his pocket. The light shone dimly through his khakis.

“You really think so?” Twain asked.

Lights all over the house came on one by one. “Oh hell no.”

And then Caveat Maledictor rounded the corner, trailed by Carpe Noctem on his left and Biggus Stickus on his right in one of those power wedge formations you saw on TV all the time. Digger was pretty sure they’d rehearsed it a few times. It certainly looked dramatic.

“This is it, Digger,” Caveat said. “No escape this time.”

“I don’t intend to escape,” Digger said.

Twain turned to look at Digger, not sure what he meant. His hand crept into his pocket. Even if Digger intended to surrender without a fight. Twain would not. He had come too far to be stopped now, although he wasn’t sure how he’d get the crystal out of Digger’s pocket in that case.

Caveat smirked. “No? Giving up so easily?”

“Knew you were a coward,” Stickus mumbled through his swollen jaw.

“No, you’re going to let us go without a fight,” Digger said. “And promise not to pursue us.”

Caveat laughed. It was actually kind of scary, Twain thought. “And why would I do that?”

“Because we’re in your house, full of very valuable artifacts.” Digger’s Drillers powered on with a snap and a rising whine. “And you know how hard I can be on buildings.”

Twain’s head snapped around. “Wait a second,” he said over the sound of the Drillers.

“Yeah, wait a second,” Caveat said, his eyes wide. “I thought your Drillers were broken.”

“You thought wrong,” Digger said. He let them power down so he could speak at normal volume. “I just haven’t been able to use them because if I do, a hostage will die.”

“Yeah, and me too,” Twain added, putting a hand to his chest.

“Please, you’re not still sticking with that story, are you?” Digger asked.

“So you’re saying you’re willing to kill a hostage to keep from being arrested?” Carpe asked.

“If I get arrested, the hostage dies anyway,” Digger said. “There’s something the kidnapper wants me to do in less than a week, and I’m betting I can’t do it in jail. Which means it isn’t my choice any more. It’s yours. Arrest me,  and the hostage dies. Fight me, the hostage dies. Let me go, the hostage lives.”

“How do we even know there is a hostage?” Stickus asked.

“You don’t,” Digger said. “I’m not willing to take that chance. Plus, there’s one other reason you wnt to let me go.”

Caveat snorted. “Which is?”

Digger nodded toward Caveat’s study. “Come talk with me in private.”

“No,” Caveat said. “Whatever you’ve got to say, you can say in front of all of us.”

Digger shrugged. “Okay, but I really think you’ll regret it.”

 What will Digger tell Caveat? Join us very soon for our next episode!

To read from the beginning, click here…

Or to continue to the next episode, click here!

Previously: Digger and Twain were trapped in Caveat Maledictor’s mansion in the act of robbing it, while Carpe Noctem hauled a protesting Caveat into the air. And now…

Caveat flailed, hanging ten feet in the air, arched backward from the ring at his waist. “Put me down, damn it!”

“No,” Carpe said. “You might as well just relax and enjoy the ride. Stick, are you coming?”

“Well, I’d like to, but…” He looked dubiously at Caveat, who was struggling to pull himself upright.

“Just give me your hand,” Carpe said. She grabbed Stickus’s upraised hand and soared into the sky.

Caveat pulled himself to a sitting position and held onto Carpe’s arm to stay upright. “Damn it, Jetta, this isn’t your business!”

“Shut up and put your mask on,” Carpe said. “It’s going to get hard to breathe in a second. Stick, I hope you can hold your breath a long time, cause otherwise this is going to suck.”

Caveat barely managed to pull his emergency respirator on over his face mask before Carpe hit the gas, accelerating quickly to almost supersonic speed. Luckily, the protective polarized lenses built into his mask would protect his eyes from injury. He looked back at Stickus, who had one hand over his mouth and his eyes squinted shut. He looked miserable. Not to mention the hair; Stickus’s hair was a little longer than collar length, pulled back into a short ponytail. It would be a tangled mess by the time they reached Fairfield.

***

Twain paced anxiously in the corridor where he was trapped in front of the door to the study where Digger was trapped. Digger was cursing up a storm in there. “Any ideas on how we might get out of here?” he shouted through the metal barrier.

“Hey, I can get out of here anytime I want,” Digger’s voice said, accompanied by the sound of the Driller Beam Generator powering up.

“But you’d kill me in the process.”

“Don’t think I’m not considering it,” Digger said. The whine of the Driller faded. “Just saying I have options. How long do you think we have before Caveat shows up?”

“What’s the big deal?” Twain asked. “You kicked his ass in that alley, right? When he shows up, just kick it again.”

“The alley was schoolyard stuff,” Digger said. “Nothing personal. We’re in his house. He’s going to take that a lot more seriously.”

“Are you saying you can’t beat him?”

“I’m saying one of us might end up getting seriously hurt,” Digger said, “which isn’t what I signed up for when we started this gig. So this crystal attaches to that cup?”

“If I figured it out correctly.”

“What do you mean, ‘if?’”

“This is not an exact science,” Twain said. “We’re talking about old legends, ancient documents. They’re not written like an instruction manual. Even worse, these legends were in Chinese, which, I’m not great with Chinese.”

“Didn’t even know you spoke Chinese,” Digger said.

“Barely any,” Twain said. “But I can read a bit, and I think I’ve got it worked …”

The metal security door began to clank back into the wall. “That was fast,” Twain said.

Caveat has avoided a long motorcycle ride. Will that make things better or worse for our duo? Join us tomorrow for the next exciting episode to see what happens next!

To read from the beginning, click here…

Or to continue to the next episode, click here!

Previously: Twain and Digger were interrupted in robbing Caveat Maledictor’s mansion by a mental probe from Deus Ex Machina. And now…

“Dude, what happened to you?” Digger asked.

Twain was no longer wearing his dark burglar clothes. In the light of Digger’s head lamp, he now wore a simple pair of blue jeans with  a simple polo shirt. A bright white patch of gauze bandage was taped to his temple near the hairline. “I just wanted to see what would happen if I flipped while Deus was trying to read my mind,” Twain said. “He didn’t seem to like it. You want me back in the dark clothes?”

“I’m not talking about the clothes,” Digger said. “I’m talking about your head.”

Twain put his hand up to the bandage. “You threw me through a window, remember?”

“Yeah, but you didn’t have that bandage before,” Digger said.

“It was under the wig,” Twain said. “Believe me, I don’t heal up quite that fast, especially when I’m spending most of my time in the other body.”

“Sorry, dude.”

Twain shook his head. “Just grab what we came for and let’s get out of here before the cops arrive.”

“Are you kidding? Caveat would not have his alarm call the cops. He would want to punish us himself.” Digger pulled open the cabinet. The inside of the cabinet was a solid wall of small wooden drawers with neatly typed labels on the front. “What am I looking for?”

“Blue crystal, maybe as part of a necklace or pendant,” Twain said.

Digger started from the top, pulled them open one by one until on the eighth, a blue glow illluminated his face. He reached in and pulled out a glowing crystal on a leather thong. “Is this it?”

“Looks like,” Twain said. “Let’s get out of here.”

Digger took a step forward and a metal security gate slid down and slammed shut across the doorway. Other sounds echoed through the rest of the darkened house as metal shutters and steel doors slammed down over every door and window. “Told you he would want to keep us here until he could deal with us himself,” Digger said.

***

“Tell me you’re not serious about this,” Carpe Noctem said as she followed Caveat outside to his motorcycle. Biggus Stickus followed a few steps behind. “Just let it go, like Deus said, or else let the police handle it.”

Caveat spun around and pointed a finger at Carpe’s chest. “No! He’s in my house! This will not stand!”

He turned and stalked toward his motorcycle as Carpe said, “Then at least let me fly you! You have any idea how long it will take you to get to Connecticut on that?”

“Less time than you think.”

“But more than you’d like,” Carpe said. “I can get you there fast.”

“No,” Caveat said. He straddled the bike and reached down for the secret fuel cutoff switch. “I have to do this on my own.”

“Oh, for God’s…” Carpe’s hand seized the D ring sewn into the special harness at his waist and lifted him into the air. “Men are idiots.”

Will Digger and Twain manage to escape before Caveat arrives, or will there be a rematch? Find out in our next exciting episode!

To read from the beginning, click here…

Or to continue to the next episode, click here!